


Harry Hart is the Worst Poet (With Bald Kink)

by Ottermidnight



Series: Bald Kinks [2]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: BaldKink, Corny, Fluff and Smut, I Owe More Than Half of the Credit to Their Original Authors and Authoresses, Love Poems, M/M, Re-Writing Version of Famous Poems, Shameless Smut, Smut, merlahad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 05:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ottermidnight/pseuds/Ottermidnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Hart is Galahad, the best Kingsman agent, but the worst poet with bald kink, the most horrifying combination.<br/>Merlin is his muse.</p><p> </p><p>(Basically, this is the collection of poems and some notes that Galahad have written to Merlin.)<br/>(Some of the poems I borrow them from some other authors and authoresses, but some poems are my original.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sonnet 18 #Baldkink by William Shakespeare Feating Harry Hart

**Author's Note:**

> I started with converting some well-known poems into bald kink version.  
> The first poem I did was Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare.  
> Of course, I love this poem and Shakespeare very much and I respect them.  
> But I could not help myself, it was incredulously funny and enjoyable to add some (weird) contemporary element like bald kink into a poem.  
> So I want to make a collection.
> 
> I hope you would enjoy it as much as I was (while writing it).

**_Shall I compare thee to the bright sun?_ **

_Thou art more lovely and more bald:_

_Rough winds do shake the darling hot steamy bun,_

_And summer's lease hath all too short to be bold:_

_Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,_

_And often is his gold complexion glittering;_

_And every hair from heads sometime declines,_

_By chance, or nature's changing course, declining;_

_But thy eternal summer scalp shall not fade._

_Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;_

_Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,_

_When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;_

_So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,_

_So long lives this, and this gives life to thee._

 

_-Have a lovely afternoon, my dearest quartermaster. -_

 

**_Yours Galahad,_ **


	2. Roses Are Red and My Darling (Merlin) Is Bald

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roses are red,  
> Violets are blue,  
> Sugar is sweet,  
> And so are you.
> 
> When Harry wants to twist another classic for his love, Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
Sugar is sweet,  
And so are you.

I am Hart.  
You are smart.  
You've got me  
So I'm going nowhere.

You are bald  
And I am blind.  
Love me Merlin.  
I'm not a virgin.

We are perfect.  
I have checked.  
Your hair is gone,  
So as my heart.

By the way, John Mark Merlin Hart sounds right to my ears.

\- Yours Harry Hart


	3. A Mission Had Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin poked through Harry's office window haphazardly and everything had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This poem is my original Merlahad poem.  
> Enjoy.

On one afternoon,  
I was bored.  
Waiting for a new assignment to rise.  
I hated warlords criminal records.  
Oh, the tedious part of an agent life.  
I thought nothing could get worse.  
But it did so I cursed.

You came poking through my office window,  
without a permission.

 

In one look.  
I was spellbound.

In one glance.  
You stole my breath. 

In one blink.  
You twinkled my world.

 

Everything had changed.  
My new mission had begun sooner than I had expected.

\- Galahad -


	4. Bright Star #BaldKink by John Keats feat. Harry Hart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bright star, would I were stedfast as thy head—

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Original poem from John Keats.

_Bright Star #BaldKink by John Keats feat. Harry Hart_

**Bright star, would I were stedfast as thy head—**  
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the kinsman  
And watching, with eternal lids apart,  
Like nature's patient, sleepless Kingsman,  
The moving waters at their priestlike task  
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,  
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask  
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors—  
No—yet still stedfast, still unchangeable,  
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening chest,  
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,  
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,  
Still, still to feel your tender-unscratched crest,  
And so live ever—or else swoon to death.

 

_-_ Yours _Harry Hart-_


	5. A Sweet Cliché Valentine's Day Poem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Sweet Cliché Valentine's Day Poem

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been a while since I last posted any poem. I wish I could do it more often. Anyway, this poem was not something I came up with exactly on Valentine's Day. I got this since Feb 10 and I tweeted it down, but I just want to post it here on the day.

Roses are red.  
Violets are blue.  
I see butterflies around my head,  
So as my future with you.

Yours one and only super spy,   
H.H.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day to you all!  
> XOXO

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Comments and kudos are welcome :)


End file.
